Whoops…
BY: CHESKA MARIE
Images by Winta Assefa
We all knew that the day was nearly over. As the rain poured down against the rooftop of our portable classroom, I listened to the sounds as I waited in my seat for the final bell to ring.
I was talking with a close friend when our conversation got cut off by J, another friend of mine, who appeared beside me. I could sense trouble coming off of him, his face giving a smirking expression. I knew that look.
“Hey,” he said, grinning.
I glanced at him, “What?”
“Sabihin mo na sakin sinong gusto mo”
I tried to process his words. “What?” My voice was small.
He repeated himself. “Sabihin mo na kasi sakin kong sino yung crush mo.” His tone sounded playful but insistent.
“Nope, not happening,” I scoffed, shaking my head. I said with a mix of playful and irritated tone.
“Oh just tell me. I won’t tell,” he said in a promising tone.
J was not the type to keep secrets and I could tell that he was not backing down. He would keep pestering me till I finally cracked so I decided to give in. As I told him who it was, his grin widened. “Ooohhh,” he sang in an exaggerated tone. “Sasabihin ko yan sa kanya”
“Oi! Don’t tell him!” I assumed he was only joking. After all, he did have a reputation for teasing.
J left and I went back to the conversation with my friend till I caught a glimpse of J from the corner of my eye, leaning toward M. My stomach dropped. M looked confused. It was clear that J told him. My secret was out.
A few minutes later, J came back. “M didn’t believe me,” he said casually, his tone so pleasant, triumphant. “Good.” I managed to say, even though my voice was unconvincing.
The rain had stopped overnight as I looked out the window. The ground was still damp and puddles appeared everywhere you looked. I was feeling nervous going to school today.
At school, the teacher reminded us about a test which I almost forgot. I was still thinking about yesterday. I remembered how M had reacted and replayed every moment in my mind. Did he really think J was joking? Or did he take it seriously?
After a few minutes into the test, the bell rang for recess. I quickly finished my work. M finished his test at about the same time. We both handed in our paper. As we walked out of the classroom, I noticed that most of our classmates were still inside and my friends, including M’s, were too.
I saw M standing at the top of the hill near the schoolyard fence. He was alone. I hesitated for a moment before deciding to go up to him. Maybe we could get closer, bit by bit. I suddenly felt my confidence spike up and I decided to approach him, my heart pounding with every step I took.
I walked up the hill slowly, and when I reached the top, M turned to face me. The air felt tense as I approached.
I broke the silence.
“Hey,” I said, feeling awkward.
“Hey,” he replied.
I hesitated before blurting out, “So wait.. did J tell you about that yesterday?”
“The what?”
I took a deep breath. “That I have a crush on you,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady, hoping this conversation doesn’t take a wrong turn.
“Yeah, but I know he was joking.”
I froze. I didn’t say anything, but I guess my expression said enough because he suddenly looked at me, eyes widening. The silence between us stretched on and I could sense that M was processing what I had said.
After the long pause, M spoke again.
“Wait.. do you?”
I looked away, feeling embarrassed on being direct that I couldn’t confess the way I had planned.
“Maybee..” I muttered
His face shifted to surprise but before he could say anything, I started walking down the hill.
Panic climbed onto me and I suddenly blurted, “Don’t tell anyone! Not even your friends!” I added quickly, my voice slightly panicked. I continued walking down the hill as fast as I could. I could not wait to get out of here fast enough.
How did me wanting to get close to him become to this?
Still flustered, I kept walking – and then stepped directly into a puddle. Cold water seeped into my shoe and sock, but I pretended as if nothing had happened and kept moving like my foot wasn’t soaked. I did not want anyone to see my humiliation, especially M.
“Don't you dare tell anyone, M!” I said again before spotting my friends coming outside. I immediately ran to them.
I felt a mix of relief and dread. “Guys,” I take a pause before reliving what just happened. “I talked to M and I accidentally confessed!!” I described the conversation with M in as many details I could tell, even the puddle part. My friends had a mix of different emotions, happiness, concernn, and laughter.
A few minutes later, I looked back toward where M was and I saw him running toward his friends, gathering near the fence. I noticed that they all turned their heads to look for me.
His friends' gaze are on me now.
(Pretty sure everyone knew I liked him – except for him)
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Cheska Marie is a highschool student who enjoys fishkeeping, listening to music, and writing. She takes interest in writing when she’s had a rough day, finding comfort in combining all her interests — watching her fish swim peacefully while music plays in the background and her thoughts spill onto the page. It’s her favourite way to unwind and reconnect with herself.
