The Day I Decided to Change
BY: PAHUL KAUR
Images by Winta Assefa
The moment I decided to change wasn’t a single, dramatic event—it was a slow realization that built up over time. But if I had to pinpoint one defining moment, it was a late summer evening in my bedroom, staring at my ceiling, feeling stuck in a cycle of self-doubt and frustration.
I had always been a hard worker, but something wasn’t clicking. I was giving effort, but not enough. I had dreams, but I wasn’t doing what was necessary to reach them. I wanted to be a great athlete—someone who stood out, someone who could compete at a higher level—but I felt like I was falling behind. Every time I played soccer, I noticed the gaps in my skill set. Every time I competed in track, I saw how much more disciplined others were. I wasn’t reaching my potential, and I knew it.
That day, I had to be brutally honest with myself:
“You want to be a better soccer player? Then why aren’t you training every day?”
“You want to improve in track? Then why aren’t you pushing your limits?”
“You say you want this, but do your actions prove it?”
That realization hit me hard. It wasn’t easy to admit, but it was necessary. I had spent too long letting fear of failure, self-doubt, and distractions hold me back. That night, something changed. It wasn’t just motivation, it was a deeper understanding that if I wanted this, I had to start acting like it.
New School, New Me?
High school was supposed to be my fresh start. I wanted to be different, to break free from the habits that held me back. But change doesn’t happen overnight.
On the outside, it was easy to pretend I had everything under control, but deep down, I still battled self-doubt. Every practice, I compared myself to others. Every mistake felt like proof that I wasn’t good enough. I had spent years being my own harshest critic, and that mindset wasn’t easy to shake.
My summer had its ups, but there were also moments where my anxiety felt overwhelming. There were days when it drained me, making even the simplest tasks feel exhausting. Then, there were stretches where I felt “normal,” as if nothing had ever been wrong. Finding a solution wasn’t easy—neither was controlling it. It was painful keeping it hidden, my biggest weakness that I didn’t want anyone to see. But eventually, I realized something: I wasn’t broken. There was nothing wrong with me. And while anxiety wasn’t something I could just snap my fingers and get rid of, I had more control over it than I thought.
Then came the setbacks. My first few months in high school sports weren’t smooth. I struggled with consistency. Some days, I felt unstoppable; other days, I felt like I was getting nowhere. It was frustrating. I questioned whether I was making any real progress.
But this time, I didn’t let the doubt win. I reminded myself that discipline matters more than motivation. So I started showing up, even on the days I didn’t feel like it. I trained before school. I put in extra practice sessions alone. I studied my weaknesses and worked on them. No excuses.
Slowly, things started to change. My stamina improved. My ball control got better. I wasn’t just playing soccer, I was becoming a smarter player. In track, I noticed my endurance increasing. I wasn’t just running, I was pushing past my limits. The work was paying off.
Soccer had always been an escape for me, but I never realized how much I needed it until this year. When life felt overwhelming—school stress, expectations, self-doubt—soccer gave me clarity.
On the field, my mind quieted. I wasn’t overthinking or worrying about what others thought. It was just me, the ball, and the game. The freedom I felt while playing was unmatched. Soccer was more than just a sport; it was proof that I was capable. Every pass, every sprint, every goal reminded me why I started.
The more I played and developed, the more my love for soccer grew and so did my hunger for improvement. I wanted to push myself to a level I had never reached before. And that meant doing things I had never done before. More training. More discipline. More belief in myself.
There were days when I wanted to quit. Days when my legs ached, my mind screamed at me to stop, and self-doubt crept back in. But I kept going. Because I knew that if I stopped now, I’d never forgive myself.
The Shift in Mindset
One of the toughest battles I faced wasn’t physical, it was mental. I had always been my own worst enemy, constantly telling myself I wasn’t good enough. That mindset had to change if I wanted to reach my goals.
Anxiety played into my confidence, motivation, and self-doubt. Pushing through it, falling down, getting back up, trying again and again wasn’t easy. But over time, every small improvement was proof that I was moving forward. The more I trained, the more my mentality grew. I knew that building confidence and forming an unbreakable mindset wouldn’t happen overnight. But if I kept going, it would happen.
So, I started focusing on small wins. Instead of obsessing over perfection, I celebrated progress. Instead of letting failure define me, I used it to learn. Instead of comparing myself to others, I compared myself to who I was yesterday.
It wasn’t easy. Some days, I fell back into old patterns of self-criticism. But I reminded myself: Growth isn’t linear. There will be ups and downs. What matters is that I keep moving forward.
The Transformation
Looking back at where I started, the difference is undeniable. I’m not the same person I was last summer. I’m stronger—physically, mentally, emotionally. I’ve built habits that I once thought were impossible. I’ve faced my fears, pushed through self-doubt, and learned what it truly means to commit to a goal.
I’m still growing. There’s still so much to learn, so much to improve. But now, I embrace the challenge. Because I know that the only thing standing between me and the person I want to become is my willingness to take action.
The journey isn’t easy. Change never is. But I’ve learned that the hardest part is taking the first step. And once you do, you realize you were capable all along.
“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
—Martin Luther King Jr.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hi, I'm Pahul. I am an ambitious and hard-working athlete who’s always up for a challenge. Whether I'm on the field playing soccer, pushing myself in track, or diving into creative projects, I'm all about growth and learning. Beyond sports, I love exploring new ideas, expressing myself through writing and art, and constantly finding ways to improve. I'm all about balance—working hard, staying curious, and enjoying the process along the way.
